SORRY blog its been awhile i have not been blogging.Life is pretty hectic these days..correction: very hectic and sucks...well enrolled in ausmat already nearly finishing semester 1 next wee is EE and yeah u must be wondering WTH is this gul doing here since she has EE next week!!!!!!! i dont give it a fucking damn!!!!!!!!
i am fucking stressed up right now...before spm its all with the huhu-haha that okay i promise i will study hard excel blah blah blah. Now its all down the drain. I love college but sometimes dreading it :'( i feel like crying sometimes i even cried already. Life is so tough actually i dont blame god.He created us and we as humans make it complicated. For eg all this ATAR and medicine and stuff. I thought ausmat was the only pre-u like that but A-LEVEL IS ALMOST THE SAME. but they have less test of course compared to mine. everyweek without fail!!!! i am so tired and helpless at times.
Worst part is my friend Sonia is freaking smart...she is seriously smart *envy*...she has bf and stuff and fiddling with her hp all the time (I HATE IT) and she scores really high.i FEEL SO DUMB at times. fIRST I got the high marks then she...maybe i am jealous type but of course i dont show it!!!!!!!!!
Did my chem today test 2 stochiometry...fucking hard okay i know i gotta stop using the f word...cencor..haizzz its seriously tough for me..i couldnt do most of it to be precise all of it...i just wanna prove to ppl to sonia that i oso can do it seriously by getting high marks. i JUST dont know why i study but i flunk chem was an exception i didnt understand what miss.d is teaching!!!!!! bc the class is the last1 and every1 is basically drowsy already...very few of them pay attention.THats the part i dont get it most of them dont pay attention and can still excell in it especially in maths class..miss s haizzz life sucks at the moment
sometimes i feel like just giving up and getting married to a handsome rich guy just like fairytale but now in a modern world its not easy...happiness is just not there for eg: my mum okay dont want to go to specific on that..she is happy but at times she is not. My dad is too busy with his work and he spends less time with us not even a photograph recently. The last time was when i was 10 years old. AND that photoghraph was used as a school project -.- well i am praying so that i get 6% above...if miss d finds out i am dead seriously..to the max...she is gonna pay extra attention and i hate that..and i hate loosing to sonia all the time..(theory if relative deprivation)
i m praying so that i do good in EE and knock those asses down...i m afraid i get a low atar then bye2 medicine...my dad will explode and be so dissapointed i need to get 80% above :'( i am a good girl but why i still dont get important stuff in life compared to those who commit sins or immoral..i dont mean that i am 100% pure innocent...but to a certain extend yes i am
so long blog i think i expressed myself enough and now its time to practise my forum...life goes again..my wish is that i no need to work but instead travel everyday hahaha but i doubt that..lifeless much ;)
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