Guys are jerks!!!!

Dear blog,

  I am almost completing ausmat in sunway. Life is not that easy...my crush! guy pressure all over my head!!!

 i mean P is not for me. i accept because he is a jerk! he smokes n drink. so i thought D likes me.it turns out to be D is interested in another girl. So i met K he is nice texts me every single day!!! but he is my friend!!! then i found out he texts every girls omg!!!!!! what was i thinking...S my crush likes my bestfriend... what in the world is happening?!?

     all the guys i like or thought they are interested in me just loves someone else...(Y)
i know they say the time will come but helloooo u serious???? my fourtune teller told me that i was gonna get in an arranged marriage?!????????????? which is soooooo not cool!!!!

     Well perhaps i will stay single n die single ;( whateva la!!!! not interested now the time will come we will see!!!!
        

Why is it always the nice girls dont seem to get the guys?

Dear readers,
from the title itself u could probably guessed it!

why is it that the nice girls dont seem to get a guy?!? in fact all the guys go after them just to seek for advise.
To be honest, i am one of the nice girl. i m not bitchy n i m a bit sarcastic but why do guys dont seem to like me. I fall in love with my guyfriends but instead they just seek for my advise for the girl they like!!!!!!

   sometimes i feel that they are using me but the truth is i am nothing more than a friend!
I have friends. They are nice too but they have boyfriends...am i too intimidating?!?

   i dress nicely,classy, i speak approriately i dont really use vulgar words, i am friendly n when it comes to guys i talk to them nicely if they talk to me ofcourse. i m not a slut n obviously not a bitch but y????

     i notice when i was in tuition guys was afraid to talk to me. And i even overheard a comment from one of the guys saying that i am a nice girl!. n another friend of mine said i am innocent.. what the hell...looks like i will never meet my prince charming. No wonder my mum saw my jathagam ( fortune teller) it seems i will be involved in arrange marriage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i just hope that wont happen...like come on!!! arrange marriage in 2000's stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holiday!!!!

yes it is holiday!!!
 i had just completed my sem 2 test like yesterday!!!! n today i am basically doing nothing dont even know what to do...mum is busy she has this prayers going on...my sister is at school -___-

  so yeah i went on fb like yesterday. i was pretty excited bc i was gonna chat with P. I MEAN HE WILL START THE CHAT! i waited waited n waited but the problem was he didnt appear. instead he went on9 n of9 and on9 and off9!!!! so frustrating!!!

   i thought he wanted to avoid me or something but then today morning he liked my status! -___- i cant seem to understand this guys mind!!!! such an idiot!!!!!

     he seems really close with the girl he has crush on but what can i say i took him for granted.he flirt with me but i was no more than his friend facebook friend!!!!  to make things worst i dreamt of him!!!!!!

   the dream was so weird!!!!! extremely weird!!!!! like to d max..i dreamt of him prank calling me!!!!!! such an ass man!!! k i think i am so gonna bath!!! its getting late :D

Does he love me? Or am i just his friend?

Dear blog,
i have been extremely confused. P is really close to me these days. btw he asked for my number again coz i changed my old number! and i asked for his too. now he comments on everything that i post and likes all my status. comments on my pictures!!! and lately we chatted a lot he always uses <3 emoticon before i leave and he said i love u but i dont really know because i thought he was being friendly.

 The sad part was he told me he is in love with this other girl name K!!! i am so heartbroken. he talks to me chats with me everyday n asks for advise but then likes K!!!! i dont know whether he was serious at first because i told him i liked S!!!! Probabaly he wants to make me jealous! that was what i thought! until he was pretty serious about it!!!!!!!!!!

          K exist and worst i had a put on a good impression and worst i even asked him to propose to her!! i M A NUT!!!!!! i mean i want to see him happy after all he was my childhood friend who lost in touch and kept in touch bck after 14 years in fb!!!! crap!!!!!!!! this is annoying!!! K was really nice she is pretty not bad, hot to a certain extend + she goes clubbing on top of that yeah i guess she is probably flirtatious too!!! i dont know whether P likes me or her. He could like Me and Lust her OR!!!!!!!!!! i WAS NOTHING MORE THAN HIS FRIEND!!! but hello its just weird!!!!!!!! its like he connects with me all the time

 before this i thought that i will remain as his best friend but then it is all wothless because now he is confusing me and disturbing my feelings!!!!!

Its painful when the guy i like likes someone else

Dear blog,

  things have changed again. I cried yesterday night,listening to emotional sad heartbroken songs non stop repeating few of it. I deleted his contact. Deactivated my fb account. Its really painful when he said he likes another girl. I dont have the guts to tell him as i never met him after long years nearly 12 years. I was angry scolded my sisters and they forever scolding and laughing at me. They just dont understand what am i going through now. They think this as a joke. They said i was insane going for a guy like that smokes and sometimes drink. I guess they are right. He is no good for me.

In fact most of the guys are not interested in me. I can sense they like me they just dont seem to have the courage to come up to me. The guys that i dont like or wish to remain as friends like me while the hot ones and they guy i like doesnt seem to like me. ANd please do not say there are other fishes in the sea because the good ones are all taken away!!!!

    Life is complicated for me now. but i am going to move on and enjoy while i can. I am still in pain but its okay its part of it. It is not easy but i didnt say its impossible and most importantly i am gonna keep myself busy watch and sit back. Sometimes i just wished he never should have contacted me at all!!!! i could have just blocked him thats for sure!!!

today he said my name i corrected him about my name and said -.- then my sis said its better not to do that or else he will find out what the hell happened to me and he could sense it thats for sure. Because i did extreme things like deactivating my account and stuff!!!! he will know.sO I BRUSHED OUT THE FEELING AND SAID WHATS UP!!!! then he didnt reply until now. i saw him going 0n9 and when i am he goes 0ff9!!!

 shit i just hope he doesnt know..please and most vital i hope we dont bump into each other outside. all those hangout stuff is just a mere convo!!! i m not serious about it.I am just gonna try to avoid him but in a good way and polite manner so that he will not be suspicious at all or worst still!!!! he develop a feeling for me!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its over. He doesnt love me does he?

dear blog,
i m in pain heartache! paining! agony. Yesterday i chatted with him on fb i mean P we started off nicely. Teasing about each other making fun + talking about our days laughing haha then he said he wants to hangout with me then he said wanted to come to my house see my mum lol he wants to buy a drink i said can. I was so strong that he liked me even more and truthfully i love him even more!!!

until he ask me this random question. Do u like any guy but u dont have the guts to tell?
and i was like shocked is he hinting me or something then i said nope and he said nope to than he said he hate love and i sad yes me too!!!!

then he said he too!!!! then i spilled out the bean i said i like this guy name S in my class but now no more! so he was like owhh and awww (i wanted to see his reaction) bc i knw S dont like me he likes my fren and its obvious. Its painful for me to see that too but then i love P more than S! S is nothing i dont even know him and btw there is no chance he is attracted to me :(

so yeah back to P then he spilled the bean he said he also likes this girl i guessed it much i actually thought he was hinting me but then he showed me the girls pic and i felt like crying.i was crying in the heart!! :'( truly i am and i was....!!!!!!!

     i thought and hoped he like me and love me all those sweet talks (darling) advice and teasing each other exchanging phone numbers even xoxo in messages!!!!!!!!!! i thought he liked me but noooooo he thinks i am his friend! childhood friend. i feel stupid blog i feel stupid to take him for granted i never experienced with guy and i thought he liked me i forgot S because of P!!!!!!!!!

why does the guy i like dont like me back but the guy i dont like likes me!!!!!! why no guys like me??? why??? i have the beauty i have the look and the personality good innocent okay maybe not too innocent...but why???

instead those big size girls and not so perfect gets the guys!!!! why???? u might say i m not outgoing but hello STFU!!!! u dont know me!!! i am friendly and classy and good. Are guys scared to talk to me...not all but yeah why??? do they think they can never make it to me????

Is P trying to make me jealous the way i made him jealous?!? he said he is going to prom with her!!! and they are getting to know each other and he is scared of her meaning learning her!!! and he is pretty confident that she likes him too :/
i thought thats it i got to avoid him. i changed my number! deleted his contact! and i deactivated my fb! i m gonna avoid...i cant take it,,its painful for me..i liked him i thought he did too but i was wrong...i can never seem to understand guys! i was juz his friend a good one chatting everyday sometime twice a day long hours. :'((((((((( i hate love

LOVE IS CRAP IT DOESNT EXIST EXCLUDING FAMILY AND FRIENDS
BUT BF N GF AND PARTNERS ARE STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT WANT LOVE

GOD Y IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME??? WHY?????? I THOUGHT HE LIKED ME OKAY PERHAPS THIS HAPPEN ON PURPOSE I WILL MOVE ON I WILL TRY TOO :( BY AVOIDING HIM ALWAYS..............................

Did i do the right thing...

DEAR BLOG,

          I feel blank again. its like everything seems wrong! I wore a really nice awesome outfit to college to impress S! i must admit i did look good lol...but the problem was before i came remember the late come in appearance? yeah so then my friend S( female) told me that S gang was making fun of him! so S said to my friend that when the time comes he will tell MY FRIEND!!!!!!!!

  what could this mean..i mean this means that he likes her!!!!!!!! S likes my friend!!!!!!! my crush likes my friend....i knew it my friend said it as she was smilling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but my friend has a boyfriend..hmm i feel dumb!

       so sad!!! all the guys dont go after me only after my friend..such a pain to me..* not all the guys but the truth is i am infact prettier than S...i knw i m being bitchy now but i cant deny my feeling!!!! my maid said perhaps he wants to tell MY FRIEND ABOUT ME!!!!!!! aaaaaarhhhhhhhhhh i wish but i dont know why i guess its not!!!! like what she said!!!! i cant even say hi to him i mean that means so weird...i cant..there is nothing to talk this is weird there is nothing to talk about..he will be with his gang!!!! and i with my own!!!

  i wish for it though but hmm i loose confidence he probably likes my friend..and i dont even have the guts to tell my friend that i have a crush on S!!!! she has better advantage they were in d same tsyn ,friends, same college nw, fb friends!!!!
i didnt even add him in fb and i didnt even dare to say hi only that pathetic smile that i gave him :'((((
i feel stupid like to the max!!!!!!!!!!!\
hmm i dont think he likes me!!!



on top of that P talked to me today!!!! he asked and we came to the topic of car..he asked what my parents drove!!!! and i told him the truth he was shocked like to the maximum!!!! he was like WOOOOAAAAAAH!!!! -_________- i didnt want to tell him coz i dont like to tell ppl i m rich :(
and so he was kinda sad i didnt tell him but he insisted and so knowing me i blurted out!!!!

i mean i trust him we were friends 12-13 years okay!!!!!! then he said i am glad to see ppl these days well to do..and then we were talking about his dream car!!! when he went offline and didnt reply my question :(

do you think he will talk to me? or be afraid cause i am a rich chick? and he feels down??? now i m seriously down!!!!