Its over. He doesnt love me does he?

dear blog,
i m in pain heartache! paining! agony. Yesterday i chatted with him on fb i mean P we started off nicely. Teasing about each other making fun + talking about our days laughing haha then he said he wants to hangout with me then he said wanted to come to my house see my mum lol he wants to buy a drink i said can. I was so strong that he liked me even more and truthfully i love him even more!!!

until he ask me this random question. Do u like any guy but u dont have the guts to tell?
and i was like shocked is he hinting me or something then i said nope and he said nope to than he said he hate love and i sad yes me too!!!!

then he said he too!!!! then i spilled out the bean i said i like this guy name S in my class but now no more! so he was like owhh and awww (i wanted to see his reaction) bc i knw S dont like me he likes my fren and its obvious. Its painful for me to see that too but then i love P more than S! S is nothing i dont even know him and btw there is no chance he is attracted to me :(

so yeah back to P then he spilled the bean he said he also likes this girl i guessed it much i actually thought he was hinting me but then he showed me the girls pic and i felt like crying.i was crying in the heart!! :'( truly i am and i was....!!!!!!!

     i thought and hoped he like me and love me all those sweet talks (darling) advice and teasing each other exchanging phone numbers even xoxo in messages!!!!!!!!!! i thought he liked me but noooooo he thinks i am his friend! childhood friend. i feel stupid blog i feel stupid to take him for granted i never experienced with guy and i thought he liked me i forgot S because of P!!!!!!!!!

why does the guy i like dont like me back but the guy i dont like likes me!!!!!! why no guys like me??? why??? i have the beauty i have the look and the personality good innocent okay maybe not too innocent...but why???

instead those big size girls and not so perfect gets the guys!!!! why???? u might say i m not outgoing but hello STFU!!!! u dont know me!!! i am friendly and classy and good. Are guys scared to talk to me...not all but yeah why??? do they think they can never make it to me????

Is P trying to make me jealous the way i made him jealous?!? he said he is going to prom with her!!! and they are getting to know each other and he is scared of her meaning learning her!!! and he is pretty confident that she likes him too :/
i thought thats it i got to avoid him. i changed my number! deleted his contact! and i deactivated my fb! i m gonna avoid...i cant take it,,its painful for me..i liked him i thought he did too but i was wrong...i can never seem to understand guys! i was juz his friend a good one chatting everyday sometime twice a day long hours. :'((((((((( i hate love

LOVE IS CRAP IT DOESNT EXIST EXCLUDING FAMILY AND FRIENDS
BUT BF N GF AND PARTNERS ARE STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT WANT LOVE

GOD Y IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME??? WHY?????? I THOUGHT HE LIKED ME OKAY PERHAPS THIS HAPPEN ON PURPOSE I WILL MOVE ON I WILL TRY TOO :( BY AVOIDING HIM ALWAYS..............................