Confused about love!

Greetings from girl in the purple scarf :)

  I just checked P's profile today. He was having a conversation with the gul who has the same name with me. It was obvious the girl was flirting -___- and probably he too or normal i DONT KNOW!!! i seriously feel so scared that i might lose him :(

  But then, i seriously feel that he could be a jerk who flirts with the girls and a major player!!! i mean i dont know he could be a bad choice to me or even he just thinks that i am his friend. He started avoiding me these days like never even like the status and comment. I thought i was the only one person he did like that. But it turns out to be that he did the same towards the other girl who has the same name like me! it seems his reason was he didnt see her online. I mean what kind of LAME excuse is that???

        I feel dumb right now!!! then i showed my maid about the guy S that i had a crush with in maths class... well he is a hottie hot hottie!!!! like absolutely. The girls really like him but he seem nice, decent and smart too :) but he didnt speak to me in person. He knows my friend S too (female one) so he spoke to her and even have her number. I seriously envy this..so annoying!!!! but i understand cause they were friends before tuition mates!!! haizzz why is life so complicated to the max????

 S is nice but i really dont know much about him :( i dont know whether he has a girlfriend or not? i mean i dont know!!! perhaps he has...his whole gang has girlfriend how come he does not right? Unless he is seriously innocent! :'(

 I am so confused right now..Like no one likes me i mean the guys...they probably do but i dont knw. they are just not the type who fight for the girl. More like the give up type!!!! its not like in movies. In reality it is different shit!!!!!!!!! the guy flirt and the girl flirts and thats it they be together and break up and the cycle continues..
 I hate love thats all i would just wanna say... I mean take for example the girl that has almost the same name with me!!!!! she changes her boyfriend all the time...from all different races :(
  I feel emo now.. perhaps i should go for now!!! BYE :'( :( -_____-